Post-Surgery Depression?

Allllll I wanna do is sleep. I find myself wishing that Harper would sleep longer, or take more naps so I can rest more.

People have offered to help, and I just don't know how to accept it. I want to appear, and BE stronger than I really am.

I feel so ugly.
I weigh almost what I did when I was 9 month pregnant.
My hair is short.
I have shaved spots on my head.
I have an infected hole on the back of my head.
I have acne.

I feel like shit.

I feel guilty for the medical bills. Because I don't bring any money in myself, I feel like Tuli is resentful of me. I feel like he must be wondering where his healthy, skinny, happy, pretty girlfriend with long hair went. I feel like he must feel trapped in his life right now....

I wish I could snap my fingers and make my fatigue, medical bills and vanity issues magically disappear. Blah....

I'm so thankful for Harper. If I didn't have him, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning.

I yearn for an adrenaline rush.

Skydiving.
A roller coaster.
Snowboarding.

Something.

Something to EXCITE me and get my blood pumping. Something to bring me a thrill.

I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I'm annoyed at my own blog posting now. Yuck.